Tao Te Ching – 27

善行，无辙迹；善言，无瑕谪；善数，不用筹策；善闭，无关楗而不可开；善结，无绳约而不可解。是以圣人常善救人，故无弃人；常善救物，故无弃物。是谓袭明。故善人者，不善人之师；不善人者，善人之资。不贵其师，不爱其资，虽智大迷，是谓要妙。

I see this chapter as three almost separate parts. The first part describes of how someone who is an expert at a certain field will be able to show his skills without much effort. One who is good at walking will leave no wheel tracks (they don’t need a car), one who is good at speaking will not stammer, one who is good with counting will not need a calculator. One who is good at locking will not need a bolt, but still no one can unlock; one who is good at binding will not need any ropes, but still no one can free.

Then, the second part starts to talk about the “master”, one who has understood Tao. The master is good at helping others, so no one is left unhelped. He is also good at making full use of all things, so nothing goes wasted. To follow what is natural is the hidden wisdom. Some people are naturally good at certain tasks, and hence do not need to struggle to achieve something not meant for you.

Next, the chapter talks about how we should look at others. If there is someone who can do something better than us, then we should treat them as our teachers, if someone is not as good as us, then we should look at what they are doing that’s not working and make sure we don’t make the same errors. For someone who does not see the value of the better and the lesser, he may feel that he is wise but will be the most foolish of all.

So according to this passage, we should not only reflect on what we are good or need improvement at, but also be able to analyse and appreciate other people’s skills and weaknesses. We should strive to improve our strengths, and take preventative measures to not make mistakes. There is no reason to look down at anyone because first, as the passage states, they can teach you something (what doesn’t work), and second, they will be good at something else that you are likely not.

I think this passage is mainly aimed at how people tend to judge others based on whatever impression or actions they take. But it is important to realize that everyone has very different sides, and not all will be glamourous.

Forgiving

I was really frustrated today, not just because I lost my keys, but also because of what someone else did with my keys.

I was finishing up a volunteer shift and running to catch the bus to make my morning class. My key packet must have been shaken out of my pocket and fell on the sidewalk along the way. When I got on the bus I couldn’t find it, and since I don’t carry change with me, I had to get off the bus after one stop.

I originally thought I left it at the volunteer place, but after I asked the staff and other volunteers, searched every room, I still could not find it. So I started to backtrack my footsteps to see if I can find it in a bush or somewhere on the road. At this point I was already not in the best mood because I have missed my first class.

As I was walking, a piece of plastic just under a parked car caught my eye. It looked like a card, and I was so, so closed to just ignoring it. But the card looked too clean to be on the road, so I went to pick it up. I was the laundry card from first year that I left in my key packet, with my name on it. I didn’t want to admit to the lurking thought beneath and I wanted to think better of people. I thought, perhaps it was flung onto the road while I was running and a car went over the packet and broke everything up. I kept going and eventually found my library tag, my student card, and my lounge access card. The Presto pass was nowhere to be seen. The library tag was what really flared me up. It was clearly ripped off the key ring manually.

Someone found it, ripped off everything with my identification information, and kept the change and keys, and of course, a free presto card. I felt so mad at whoever did this. Why did they have to throw my cards on the road? Why can’t they just take the presto card and leave me my keys? For a moment there I was thinking a lot of bad thoughts.

But then, I guess after so many BMS classes it did have some subconscious effect on me. I talked to myself out loud and said exactly how I felt: “Okay, I’m very angry right now. I think this is very unfair. I blame myself for being so careless, and I also blame the other person for being so inconsiderate. Which is okay. Why would someone do this? I can’t understand what that person is thinking. So I feel angry, and I want to get that person back, but what can I do? ”

It was after several minutes of talking to myself like this that I started to calm down and I thought to myself:

“Maybe that person is just having a really bad day. How would he know how important those things were to me? He probably doesn’t know, because usually people won’t lose things that are very important. How important are those things to me? Is it really that important to get angry about? Maybe he really needed the bus fare. Technically I didn’t lose too much, I should be glad that he at least returned my ID. The presto card can be cancelled, and the keys can be cut again with my roommate’s copy. ”

I tried to wish the best for whoever had my presto card, I have to admit that I couldn’t do it whole-heartedly, because I was still holding a little grudge. But I did forgive. I understand he would have his circumstances, and I forgave both him and myself. I was okay to be angry and have bad thoughts, but it was important to be able to realize what I was thinking, and not get too caught up in my rage.

 

Keep on Walking

This day didn’t start out the best. For some reason my schedule was entirely messed up. I was signed up for a shift that I didn’t plan for, but a new volunteer needed me to train her so I decided to push back my original schedule and stay. Since I had originally planned to take an afternoon nap, I couldn’t after changing my schedule and needed to have a coffee to make up for my 3 hours of sleep last night. During my afternoon shift, I had shortness of breath, palpitations, and tachycardia for almost an entire hour. I was feeling very unwell, but I finished my shift.

It was during lunch that I found out I forgot about a meeting that I set with a friend a few weeks ago, I had forgotten to put it into my google calendar, and I ended up booking another meeting during that time in Ancaster today. To make things worse, I also narrowly missed the 5C bus going to Ancaster (it came 3 minutes early) and had to take a $25 Uber. That’s my entire weekly expense gone.

It was in Ancaster, I ran to catch the bus back to Hamilton. Now, most know that the Ancaster bus system is very sparse, there is only one bus route and the bus only comes once every hour on Saturdays (NO bus on Sundays), if it weren’t for my friend’s request, I would not have come on a weekend.

The bus I was running for passed by me. I was 10 meters away from the stop. I was waving to the driver, but he just drove on. I knew rationally it wasn’t the driver’s fault or my friend’s fault, but I found myself feeling anger. It was late, I was alone on the street, and I was tired and freezing. I think this whole day of chaos just caught up to me, and this last missed bus trigger everything.

“If only that friend didn’t ask me to meet in Ancaster? What was he thinking? He knows how inconvenient the bus is here, and he still asked me to make this trip. He’s so inconsiderate and needy.”

I checked my phone to see if there is any possibility for me to walk to another stop a few blocks away and catch the returning route (the bus route in Ancaster is a loop). The map showed that I needed 12 minutes to walk to the stop, but the next bus reaches there in 8 minutes.

I started walking, not having high hopes at all.

“How could that bus driver have not seen me? I’m wearing a bright red coat and running towards the stop. Can’t he have a little more heart and think about how cold it is outside and how long I would have to wait for the next bus?”

Maybe if I run I can catch it. I tried, but the boots are so heavy, and I was already feeling so unwell from the lack of sleep and the coffee.

“I’m feeling so tired and overwhelmed today, and no one seems to notice or appreciate me.”

It was either stand in one place and wait, or keep walking.

It was freezing cold, so I kept walking. At least it will keep me warmer.

I started to think about the more positive sides of the situation. I remember in BMS we used to talk about how things are only good or bad when they are labelled by us. Perhaps there is a silver lining somewhere in the darkening sky.

At least I’m getting my steps in. I’ll definitely reach my steps goal for carrot rewards today. I wonder if I can meditate while walking. I remembered the last time I did the walking exercise in class. That experience was nothing like I’ve ever felt. I’m not too sure about experiencing that again in this empty street.

I’ll keep walking. If I miss the bus again, I’ll just walk to the 5A bus stop.

Maybe I can read an article on my phone. But it’s too cold. My fingers will freeze.

As a habit, I pulled out the transit app again to see if I missed the bus yet. I can see the intersection right up front.

Next bus in 0 minutes.

There was a roundabout ring before me. It just so happens a surge of cars just rushed in. I ran to the intersection, there were pedestrian signs but 3 consecutive cars passed without letting me by. I can see the bus reaching the roundabout.

Finally the fourth car stopped to let me through. At the same time, the bus also entered the roundabout.

The bus passed by right in front of me as I was trying to reach the other side. And 2 cars followed tightly after it, not giving me any gaps to squeeze through and get to the bus stop just 10 meters away. I was tempted to just barge in front of those drivers and force them to brake their car.

But the bus stopped.

I think the driver must have seen me trying to get across the roundabout. And other than the bus stop, there really isn’t any other reason that I would cross the intersection. In the end, because I caught the return bus, I actually got home 30 minutes earlier than I would have.

I’m really glad I just kept walking.

Hershey’s Brownie Pie

Okay this is definitely never happening again, anytime soon, maybe on Christmas day I’ll give myself another excuse to buy one.

I can smell the chocolate through the paper box. When I take a slice, the inside is so soft and gooey that half of it almost slid off (rather than breaking off) in mid-air. There are many chocolate chips on the surface. The dough radiates with heat, fresh from the oven. The very top thin layer of brown surface is starting to flake after being through the open night when it travelled back from Pizza Hut on the next block.

I used a fork, and the dough stuck on the fork as well as my teeth. The inside was too hot. Karma of taking too large of a bite, but no regrets what-so-ever. The dough is very moist, feels like it’s melting in my mouth. I refrain from chewing, but can’t help swallowing little by little. Until I notice the edges of the chocolate chunks on my tongue, which become more and more prominent as more dough goes down my throat. The intense sweetness seems to register a bit later. Very rich, and to the point where the back of the tongue burns a little, I was not entirely sure if it was the heat or the sugar that caused the sensation.

As I bite into the chocolate chip, there wasn’t a crisp sound, but rather more like breaking a tight skin and then sinking my teeth into melted syrup. Very smooth melted chocolate that spreads across the tongue and leave a slightly bitter aftertaste, like coco. I spend almost an entire minute slowly letting saliva wash away the chocolate stuck on my teeth, the inside of my cheeks, and my tongue.

The sides touching the container was more chewy and less moist. The chewiness allowed me to retain the taste for a longer period of time in my mouth, although not as widespread as the first bite in the middle.

I will be saving the rest of the tray for another day, hopefully I don’t devour the whole thing by tomorrow (it’ll probably happen).